A hundred of a different kind!

A hundred articles… That too in one year and a few months! Boy! I have been on a writing spree, haven’t I? Not quite…it’s my job…so didn't even realize when I silently reached a small milestone. I would have loved to reach the glorious 100 with a Henry article tagged as an Editor’s pick with my editors going gaga over it but that’s life for you. I reached there with a completely run-of-the-mill quickly scribbled one. But then again, even Tendulkar got his 100^th against Bangladesh! So am not complaining!!

But did I always want to write? I don’t know. Being blessed with the gift of the gab, TV seemed to be a preferred destination but now after a 100 articles under the jaideep18 username, I might have finally found a way to my destination, if there is one, that is.

It’s been almost 10 times now that I have clicked my own profile in Sportskeeda.com to verify whether it’s actually true. It’s true, it seriously is! The Jobless Jack has finally made something out of himself. A second rate second division cricketer who spent more time spending on the bench now writes analysis pieces on the game itself. May be being on the bench helped! I got a wholesome view of the game, got a better understanding of situations and understood the common mistakes made by my captain (not playing me was the biggest one!).

However, these articles are more than just scribbled words for me. For the readers, it may be the words of wisdom from a pretentious douche who thinks he knows a lot about the game but for me, it’s been a journey towards freedom. Freedom to express those views that went unheard in addas  in the college canteen, freedom to express my love for a game that changed my life and freedom to live a life that’s worth living.

I haven’t earned much money, neither have I attained enormous glory. I haven’t been bestowed with a lot of #Respect (Roadies style!) nor have I proved anyone wrong. None of these even figured in my scheme of plan (if there was one) when this IT guy gave up his 25K per month pay packet. It was just an honest effort to find out whether it was possible to become something that I wanted to become and whether such a world really existed. It was an indomitable urge of an egoistic freak to prove himself right.

They say to gain some, you lose some and I have lost quite a lot. Money, people, time, respect and most painfully, sleep! People normally relate loss to pain and insomnia only increases it by manifolds. But trust me these 100 articles wouldn't have been possible if insomnia wouldn't have stuck to me. Insomnia and a ruined personal life are perhaps the best weapons of a writer. There’s no one to call or text and you’re too scared to go online because that green button beside her name in your chat list can freak the hell out of you. You keep scrolling through your timeline for her last post only to realize that she has “un- friend” –ed you on Facebook and you deleted her pictures in a fit of anger. That’s when you open your word doc and start scribbling and that’s how one day you land up with a 100 articles.

“How can you get an editor’s pick?” – A common question that I face from our writers. I normally reply them with a rude and smart ass “write better” answer but in reality, I really don’t know because I write to satisfy a scarred ego and a sleepless soul that is haunted by a sepia tone montage of his past disasters. I write to silence the voices in my head and to brush aside the memories that spill out every night to laugh at my failures. I write to erase my past and to forget her. I write to bring back the guy who ran hard with the drinks after every over because he believed in his dreams. I write to find the guy who loved to laugh and never faked his smile.

Heavy huh! Fuck it! I write because I get paid, period. That’s me now. I don’t care about the moron who gave up his life like a coward and tried to be a martyr. He was a loser and I am happy that he’s lost in the mist of the weed and has drowned in the litres and litres of alcohol. I loathe him and I look down on him yet these 100 articles somewhere reminds me of him because he had a dream and without that I wouldn't have achieve it! 100 articles isn't a big deal for me but for him, it would have been quite significant. 

As much as I hate him, I think he deserves at least a small toast from me. So, cheers to all those who didn't believe in him!