The Wrong'Un

Blunder Down Under!

2012-01-06T07:18:00.000-08:00

For once the Aussies would be thankful to the Poms!
Why?
Simple, in mid August 2011, the English knocked the stuffing out of the number one team in the world. England not only thrashed India 4-0, they also extracted all the confidence and fight out of MSD’s men. India tried their best to recover against the West Indies but the ghost of
England boarded the Quantus flight down under.
Defeats don’t hurt, after all it’s just a game and you are bound to lose games but what hurts is the way you lose. The way India has lost, rather surrendered, the last six away tests has left everyone
flabbergasted.
But is Team India such a bad side?
Definitely not…India has got the finest of personnel when it comes to the talent quotient. Our top five batsmen have scored more than even a few test squads put together. We have the most destructive wicketkeeper batsman post Adam Gilchrist era. Our bowling is a little susceptible but the experience of Zaheer Khan coupled with the pace prongs of Ishant and Yadav hould have been a handful.
Then why the World Champs are in such a state?
Confidence is the key word in cricket and Team India efinitely lack it at this stage. Every time a partnership develops or a bowler its a good spell, we are all back to the English Debacle. The famed opening air gets out to bizarre dabs and extravagant drives, the “haloed” middle order looks jittery, even “the Wall” seems to have a gate through it. The number six spot still up the grabs and our Captain Cool has lost his bearings and looks out of sorts. Ashwin looks more equipped with the bat rather than the cherry in hand. The pace attack this time has pace but lacks direction and tenacity and the lesser said about the fielding the better.
These reasons aside, what has hurt the fans the most is the lack of intensity and enthusiasm of the Indian side. The team looks flat and devoid of any aggression. There’s no clapping of hands, no cheering of bowlers and no spark of innovation in Captaincy. The deep mid wicket and deep
square leg are out but for some strange reason the 150kph plus speedsters abstain from bouncing the opponents. When the series started, experts said that this was India’s best chance to win a series down under but I guess with a series of blunders, India has literally gone down and under!
But as a true Blue Indian cricket fan, the heart still says, there’s still a fight back somewhere… May be it would be at Perth where we would get to sing….
"WACA WACA yayyy yayyy….”

2011…from the King to the Midget

2012-01-01T22:49:00.000-08:00

2011…from the King to the Midget

The year that brought smiles to the faces of millions, left quite a few wrinkled eyebrows with its departure. The Melbourne test had sent down that same cold shudder that was felt a few months back in England.
The year though kicked off with the World Cup victory that brought an end to a long-awaited Indian dream that had been nurtured for the last two decades. Finally on the 2nd of April, the
yearnings were answered with a six by MS Dhoni over wide long on. The swish of his
flashing blade after the shot will remain as Dhoni's signature forever much like Kapil Dev's catch off Viv Richards in the 1983 final.
But what made India pull the World Cup out of Australia's grasp?
Short answer…Planning. If we carefully look at the series preceding the World Cup, we would see a stream of thought that headed towards picking the correct resources for the high profile
tournament. The resources were smartly chosen and sparingly used. The nucleus of the side seemed nice and tight. The gaping holes in the bowling line up were filled up beautifully by a Munaf Patel and Ravichandran Ashwin and the inclusion of the Kohlis and Rainas perked up the pace on the park. Still, India began the tournament as an unsettled favorite, hiccupping and struggling through their league phase. But it all changed after the first knock out night against the Aussies- India came out mean, lean and committed. The Indian fielders dived and chased the ball to squeeze out the runs and while chasing Yuvraj and Raina kept their cool in front of a large crowd at the Sardar Patel Stadium. After that one knew that India will go all the way.
India's World Cup glory was the result of proper planning and a collective effort from the unheralded Munaf Patel, the phoenix named Yuvraj Singh and from a “wounded” few left with an unfinished business from the Wanderers in 2003.
In the space of the next two months though the table turned and it turned hard. The World Champs of the shorter format and the Numero Uno in tests tasted bitter failure. India was shell shocked during the English Summer where the team failed to win a single game and got whipped 4-0 in both tests and ODIs.
What went wrong?
World Cup and IPL fatigue, not enough warm-up games, injuries, DRS, bad luck…
All of the above but still the real answer is - Planning, more than the English outplaying India, they out planned India. Except a resilient Rahul Dravid and a spirited Praveen Kumar, India look flat and out of steam. The best English batting line up in years took advantage and piled up the runs, handing the English a series victory after 1996. Many questioned India’s Number one status in tests but let me remind you at the beginning of 2011, India gritted out a 1-1 series in South Africa to validate their ranking. But again nothing succeeds like success, and India’s success overseas took a serious beating in England.
Melbourne was supposed to be India’s revival ground. A fit Zaheer Khan, a quick Umesh Yadav and an improved Ishant Sharma held the bowling attack in good stead. The hopes rose after a few rising Umesh bumpers hurled into Ricky Ponting’s helmet and Ed Cowan’s midriff. The hopes rose even higher as Sachin Tendulkar scorched the MCG green with his Upper Cuts and delicious drives but as they say old habits die hard. It all went pear shaped when Peter Siddle found the gap between the Maestro’s bat and pad. The moving ball removed the Indian middle order and polished off the tail. A test that India should have won… lost in three and a half days!
What next?
India might still pick themselves up against Australia, but the summer of 4-0 has unearthed some relevant conclusions. Against quality bowling in trying conditions, there still are vulnerable spots in the batting line-up. The inability of polishing of the tail thus handing good test averages to Broad, Swann, Siddle and Pattinson. Dropping important catches, MS Dhoni’s defensive
captaincy and batting form, Gautam Gambhir’s dismissals and of course losing the key moments in a test match.
2011…thus remains as a significant year for Indian cricket. It’s a year that made us the Kings of the shorter version, also has rung the alarm bells about our abilities in the Longer Format.
I hope someone’s listening….

Shit Happens!

2011-06-19T00:39:00.000-07:00

27…yes guys, along with the heavy rains wishes poured in for my 27th birthday and just like the famed “nimno chaap” sweeping the state, I too felt a few chaaps up my ass.
They say that the teenage is the most confusing stage of life and if you can fight through that then the rest of your life is a smooth sail.
Whoever said this is a liar or died of drug overdose in his/her teens.
So my answer to that is Shut the F*** up…Smooth Sail……Even Captain Jack Sparrow can’t guarantee it!
If teenage is confusing, the mid twenties hurl you in the stranger tides of life and unresolved issues of Roti, Kapda and of course Ladki crop up their heads like mermaids.

So how does it feel like being 27?
When are you getting married?
Big boy, now you’re a man…time to take some decisions…
Time to settle down…man

Excerpts from a few birthday wishes that poured in with advices and questions for my future… words like DECISIONS, FUTURE, MAN and of course MARRIAGE made my heart skip well… quite a few beats and when you notice the streaks of grey hair adorn your “super cool” spikes the nimno chaap certainly becomes urdhogami! It becomes even weirder when you see a lot people of the same age who’s got it all figured out while you still fantasize about the Munnis, Shielas and the latest Jalebi Bais!
I really don’t know about others but my life has definitely not turned out to be the fairy tale that I once wished it would…in the past 27 years my RFT ratio hasn’t been admirable. I have screwed up more than I have got it right but again I have loved making those Miss-takes and they have only enriched my experience.
Of course, there are times when I completely hate my life and shout out - Ja Chudail at it, when my daddy also feels that am his biggest Gaalti, when my maan ka tanpura strings out the raga of frustration and makes me feel that my bheja is nothing but savage garden of useless crap but that’s perhaps is the fun of it…the more you try to sort it out, the more complicated it becomes.
Toh ab tera kya hoga re Kaaliya?????
Just accept that Shit happens when you’re on the wrong side of the twenties. Then you’re left with two options…
• Mature fast, get married and get it all figured out
OR
• Put on your earplugs, get READY for some kickass action, pick up whatever comes your way and keep running with your MP3 player screaming….Bhag bhag DK BOSE!!!!!!

2011-03-14T02:08:00.000-07:00

Ghoroya Meye…

I had to write this after my longest season of biyebaris and marriage receptions came to an end finally. With most of my friends turning 26 and Facebook turning into the “My Wedding & My Honeymoon” album advertiser, our walls have turned into RIP stones!
Firstly, congratulations to all my friends who have taken this legendary decision to get married…I have tried to attend as many ceremonies as I could and to those which I gave a miss, my tummy thanks me for doing so.
Secondly, warning to all my friends who have been inspired by these “stupid acts” of the above mentioned friends. You guys have seen the entire process and I hope you would not like to go through this grind and if you still do, well what can I say, the Supreme Court has legalized Euthanasia…
Anyway, let’s concentrate on the topic.
While we were cruising through these tummy churning receptions, a common topic kept cropping up,

what kind of a girl slash man do we want to get married with?
This was a common question that was thrown open to all the bachelors and bachelorettes (I have learnt this term recently so I am going to spray it all over this post just to show off the prowess of my vocabulary!)
The Bachelorettes (there I go again) had a common answer
• Tall (the girl may be 4 feet something but her guy has to be a member of the six feet category)
• Moneyed (well, how else can he pay for her 12,689 pair of shoes)
• Settled abroad (for a few, a few despised it though)
• Stylish (Formals with a small tummy wearing GKB glasses, the geeky look)
• Classy (someone who will think dirty but won’t say it)
• Humorous (well well well…let’s not even get in there)
• Loving & Caring (God knows what that means?)
Basically, not men but “Super Men” with their undies inside their trousers.
The bachelors though stuck to one word that has done rounds of all the Bong biyebaris for ages and now has turned into a myth, “Ghoroya Meye”…
Whenever a bachelor (who is above 25 and is single with no action for months) is asked about his choice of bride, the answer would invariably be “oi ekta ghoroya meye holei holo…”
I had often stumbled upon this myth and finally took it on myself to find out what on earth is this Ghoroya Meye????? So in an one convenient afternoon I sat down to enlist the various characteristics of a Ghoroya Meye…my research was based on the random kakus and kakimas and pishimas who had wanted to hitch me with a Ghoroya Meye…So guys here I go….

• The Opening credits… “Bujhli…Meyeta r monta khub bhalo…” be sure, she isn’t good looking at all. So she’s already lost round 1 and doesn’t have a choice, she has to have a good heart.

• Next would be… “Meye ta thik ajkal kar meye der moto na…oisob choto choto jama kapor pore na” – she hasn’t got the figure to pull off a jeans, in fact the only pair of jeans she possesses is a mid rise that she wears up to her, well… has an ensemble of ill fitted Salwars and Chhapa Saris…doesn’t wax, has thicker whiskers than Nathulalji.

• Next Up… “Oi sob engreji medium e meyeder moto patash patash kore mukher upor kotha bole na….”- bad English, ZERO sense of humor, and she’s a very close cousin of Bappida… “Her Engleesh is definately going to hut (hurt) yeeeooor hut (heart)!”

• Next in line would be, “Darun gaan gaye…rabindra, nojrul, adhunik…” – Chhapa Sari, khopa e belful and harmonium clad! If her singing isn’t going to kill you, the scent of the belful will certainly do the honors!

• Aage…. "Porasuna te bhison bhalo, ebar para e kobita r potijogita te fast hoyeche…” – Madhyamik & UcchoMadhyamik from Nari Hatya Mandir, now Bangla Honors from Giribala Nari Uchhed College and “Fast” prize winner in the recitation competition organized by Potol Danga Thunder Club! (don’t even ask her which kobita she recited)

• Tarpor… “Khub lokkhi meye, gharer sob kaj pare, mane saradin to barite thake…” – run as fast as you can, she is a tailor made Kajer mashi who has done her PhD in Star Jalsha mega serials and with K series as her specialization! She will turn your life into hell complaining about your mom and will suspect you of cheating even if you talk to your age old friend who by some divine injustice is a girl!

Well there you go guys, I have given you a small guide at what is a Ghoroya Meye????
My advice, hook up with any bachelorette among your friends, try to please the boudis, conquer the Cougars but don’t fall into the trap known as the Ghoroya Meye but if you still think you want to go ahead, do it at your own peril, just don’t forget to send me the invite!

Disclaim“Her”
All characters and events in this post are fictitious and bear no resemblance to any bachelorette (once more) in real, but any resemblance to any bachelorette (love it) or married (living or dead), institution and event are purely “fun”- intentional and pun intended!

MYSELF......

2011-01-14T23:30:00.000-08:00

Chotobela xams e ekta essay bar bar asto, MYSELF…..r protibar e puro mukhoster moto likhe jetam….am a good boy, obedient son, ambitious ro koto hena tena, kintu ekhon ei kotha ta jiggyesh korlei bhison chaape pore jae….nijeke bhalo bolle history ta chok rangae, nijeke handsum bolle geography khilkhil kore hese othe, bhalo student bolle report card gulo obak chokhe takae…..ta ei AMI bostu ta je ki seta byakhya korata amar kache helmet chara Dale steyn k face korar moto…tae sobai k khub chendo bhasae nijer background ta di…ekti Tuke pass kora Chemical engineer je du bochor dhore IT te gesta gechor kore hothat TV te anchor hote cheyechilo…..tae chakri charar moto mukhami o korechilo….sekhane sob kichu bhaloi cholchilo kintu hothat lyf er ekta googly te career er middle stump ta chitke gelo….bas r ki ekhn abar nijeke khuje berachi r oi ek e proshno ta barbar korchi…who AM I???? ekhono kono uttor payni….hoyto pabo o na may b etae lyf oi j The Pursuit of…ki jeno ekta bole na!!

kobe katbe twenty ten!!!!!!!!

2010-10-25T10:44:00.000-07:00

Likhte bose moner modhye ghurche onek kotha,
Upor upor deto hasi, bhitor e hebby batha…
Batha r kotha bolbo ki bhai, futche hajar pin,
Cholchilo sob aish kore, hothat bodle gelo scene…
Korte giye revolution khelam totaalll case,
Heroine o amay dekhie kola khuje nilo Fresh face…
Chilam bhalo Engineer, IT jogot niye,
Banshjharta nijei nilam NDTV giye…
Kichu na bhebei niyechilum, hothat ekta jump,
Life o marlo tumul googly, urlo middle stump…
Ekhon bose pavilion e chatchi nijer gha,
Jekhanei di interview, sobai bolche NA...
Barite bose gilchi tobu hochi na boss FAT,
Ebar baba r kotha sune hoche dite CAT…
Jedike takai rasta na pai sudhui Blind Lane,
Moner modhye kakuti … kaka kobe katbe twenty ten!!!!!!!!

bishwoCup 2010

2010-10-25T10:37:00.000-07:00

Pagol Diego parlo nako, hotash korlo Rooney
Quarter e te Brazil jetei hahutash bani.
Total choralo chotto Messi, Super flop Kaka,
Argentina biday nitei bangali r Bishwocup faka.
Thomas Mueller jaat chenalo, Ghana o dilo Gyaan,
Long ranger e mon bhoralo Diego Forlan.
Lippi r team hochot khelo, mukh poralo Henry
Low er sporshe German dol ghoralo tader chori.
Shakira r waka waka te kaka sobai fatalo gola,
Ebar hit ekjon e boss, naam tar VUVUZELA.
Fabregas er maapa pass e Iniesta r goal,
Spain fello bishwo jure darun hottogol.
Del Bosque r darun chhoke sobar uthlo navishas,
Spain er montro chotto chilo, Hum Tum r Pass Pass!

2010-03-17T17:26:00.000-07:00

MODI r DOKAN

Khullo abar MODI r dokan, uthlo abar jhor

Kinte Dada, Sachin, Pollard, hankche sobai dor……

Bish over er mojar khela, haazar binodon

Ek team te shilpa shetty , onno team e DON……….

Chok dhadhano jersey sobar, nanan tate AD

Beguni rong er pentulun r rangta mora PAD…..

Nach-che jhinku cheerleader, song-e bajche dhak

Hothat dekhi kothae hawa Bhogle kaka r tak……

Korbo Lorbo onek holo, Jitbo kobe Cup?

Todi r dewa Ganjee pore, hothat birol chaap……

Enechi dhore Guufo Whatmore, eseche Wasim bhai

Tora je ja bolis bhai…..ebar sonar cup ti chai…….

Khela e hocche asol guru, bujheche ebar DON

Ghardhakka diye bidey korlo Buchanon……

Kiwi r desher Bond o elo, barate team er goti,

David Hussey joldi eso, noyle bishal khoti…..

Esob to bhai team er kotha, asol kotha asi

IPL er bapok jore, bollywood o basi

Test cricketer ki je hobe, bhable lage bhoy….

Bolo he sobai, Modern Packer Lalit Modi r JOY!!!!!!

The Terminal

2010-01-31T10:53:00.000-08:00

“Sir, are you travelling by flight SG 219 to New Delhi……”

I looked up to find a Spice Jet ground attendant beaming artificially at me.

“Yes….”

“Sir, the flight has been canceled. Sorry for the inconvenience Sir.”

“Excuse me….what do I do with this?” I showed my boarding card which reserved the seat 33C for me in the canceled voyage!

“Sir, we will refund your fare on producing this…..”

As I headed for my refund I saw a stream of people swarming the counter.

“I need you to reschedule me in the morning flight….”

“Why is the flight cancelled?”

A host of questions flooded the flight attendants……

As I entered the Kolkata Airport, I found an eerie loneliness…..very few people, fewer open counters and even fewer open food stalls. I felt something was not quite right and as you would have it, SG 219 cancelled my appointment.

After collecting my boarding pass, I sat down at the lobby and looked around. I was immediately taken into rewind mode…..back to IGI at New Delhi!

The scenes were quite different in the two airports….. Kolkata was silent, serene, lonely and cold on the other hand IGI was buzzing, sparkling, filled with people and definitely freezing. In IGI there wasn’t even a single dull moment, I plugged in my laptop, got the headphones out and had a great time just observing people who were on the phone, people at the book shops, at KFC, at the laptop stations and of course in the toilets! Kolkata gave me a feeling of being Viktor Navorski from Krakozhia! There were hardly anyone around, the stalls were empty, no food, one water cooler in isolation and definitely no plug points!

Though my country wasn’t being bombed or I wasn’t being chased around by rank Dixon, the whole setting at the Kolkata airport did remind me of the Spielberg movie the Terminal…..though my flight was cancelled I loved the creepiness of the huge airport! Only wish I could have met my Catherine Zeta Zones!

Lucky Tom!

Ibn Batuta - itchy feet!

2010-01-16T10:24:00.001-08:00

“….Ibn Batuta…….ta ta ta

Bagal mein juta ta ta….”

The radio of the Toyota Innova started as soon as we left 207, Okhla.

May be not as dramatic as Ibn Batuta…still we had a destination….Chandni Chowk…..

Okhla to Patel Chowk in a cab, then Patel Chowk to Chowri bazaar by the tube…..You must be thinking, what is the big deal anyway?

But as soon as I walked out of the Chowri Bazaar tube station…. I thought I have seen this a hundred times before: the shops, the signboards, the masjids, the tangas and even a large tree…..but suddenly, something grabbed my attention I looked around again being truly aware of my surroundings for the first time that day.

I knew that I was in for a treat at Delhi-6.

Normally, one drives around a city….but a place like Chandni Chowk doesn’t allow that luxury. So one is forced to walk around…… the best way to take in the sights and sounds of any place. Especially walking without a purpose forces one to slow down and notice the smallest details that make things seem new and different. It lets you stop for golgappas, watch the monkey business, to take photographs…..smell the fuming kebabs…..actually feast on them at Karim’s (world famous in Delhi!) or just stare and assimilate.

Close on the heels of eating authentic mughlai food is visiting the local market – The Kinari Bazaar… A stroll through a marketplace offers a variety of experiences, many of them new even to a long-time resident. There is truly nothing that radiates the essence of a city better.

Every time one starts to feel tired of Delhi, just head to the lanes of Chandni Chowk with your camera and get yourself into the rediscovery mode…..

The golgappas, Karim’s kebabs, Nataraj de bhalles, paranthewali gali, lassi, rabri, khurchan….even the Banta…..the buffet just seems endless!!!!!

Jingle all the way!!!!!

2009-12-25T10:46:00.000-08:00

It’s 6 degrees and am freezing!!!!!

This is got to be the weirdest Christmas of my life.

Weird and lonely…… no family, no friends……

If you have spent the whole Christmas on Facebook, you know there’s something that isn’t going your way.

Choosing a career of your dreams is never an easy option…..but a rebellious heart and a wafer-thin salary packet can make one take a few bold and may be not so clever decisions.

Settling in New Delhi has been a struggle…..the last five months has been nothing else but tough! Seriously tough!

But still, when watching cricket matches on a giant LCD becomes a part of your profession, one can’t complain much. Camera, editing, cricket matches, stories, media stalwarts, visits to the Lok Sabha, Fashion weeks have all been like a dream but the reality hits in every morning when one has to get out of the blanket to make your own cup of coffee…..especially in Delhi winters….trust me it’s no fun!

I took it as a part of professional hazard but suddenly the Christmas Eve brought in a few memories that made me a little week in my knees.

Christmas back in my city is a little different……friends, Park Street, breakfast with cakes and oranges, the hanging socks for Santa and of course the gifts……well, we had our Santa too….

I have always been a part of a joint family where we are five brothers and sisters (well….you may call cousins!) and Christmas Eve we used to run for our beds because Santa used to visit us at Midnight.

Christmas morning we used to wake up and look for our gifts only to find nice packed boxes near our pillows…… chocolates, pens, books and on my 18^th year I even found a shaving kit!

We used to wonder how Santa knew what we want. We knew the answer; still we loved to the feeling of amazement and the happiness it brought along!
This Christmas I woke up….and suddenly looked beside my pillow, I found nothing……

I closed my eyes and thought about my Santa……

I saw him smile at me giving me a thumbs Up saying, “MERRY CHRISTMAS SON…”

That was my present.

Well….my Grand Dad is my Santa……and I can still hear him singing his Jingle all the way!!!!!!!

JOKER of the PACK

2009-12-25T10:42:00.000-08:00

“May I come in Sir?”

The whole group turned towards the huge metal doors of the Engineering workshop.

“Sir, I have just been transferred to the Chemical Engineering section…..” the big eyed girl went on,”….I am roll no. 68.”

She uttered the words with much trepidation as the whole group kept staring at her.

That was the first time I saw Miss Malini Guha….Oooops! Then Miss Malini Guha…..

As she ushered herself into the workshop, a few whispers began, a few hearts skipped a few beats and a few meaningful smiles emerged. I kept looking at the newest member of our class. Her eyes were filled with much discomfort as she managed a meek smile at me as she settled into the worktable.

Well….. Those eyes have matured by 6 years since I saw them but they still have the pureness and the anxiety in them. And when those eyes displayed the gentle jitters of a bride, I could hear a few sighs of despair and a few hearts breaking!

Yup! Malini, as expected, finally exchanged vows.

As I was getting decked up for the occasion in front of my mirror, I suddenly realized that I am actually approaching the wrong side of the twenties! The shinny bald scalp, hidden by a strategically placed Mohawk, suddenly peeped out confirming the fact. As I walked in and handed over the gift, those eyes again greeted me with the question, “How do I look?”

I am perhaps the last guy who would come up with a “Wow! So Beautiful……”

Even Malini didn’t expect it! But to my surprise I showed double thumbs up!

“No ways dude!!!!!” I told myself.

I even tried to be the pain in the ass that I normally am but the harder I tried the more I disappointed myself.

I was astonished at my poor form but the thing that hit me the hardest was the lack of connection. There was a clear disconnect between me and my FRIENDS!

I tried to gel but the chemistry was simply missing!

May be I am growing up or perhaps my FRIENDS have grown out of me.

Whatever it may be…….It was a fabulous wedding….the first among my friends. All of them were there…..the Kings, the Queens, the Aces but the JOKER of the PACK didn’t quite make it!

The Wounded Tiger!

2009-12-15T06:28:00.001-08:00

After Shane Warne’s wrong one’s it’s time for Tiger Woods to surprise us with his not so golfing swings!

After being in the limelight for nearly 15 years as an international celebrity, Woods probably figured out that the media can rip you apart cut when it came to explaining -- or rather not explaining -- what happened in the wee hours of Nov. 27 when he crashed his car outside his Florida home.

Now, Woods finds himself neck deep trouble and trauma, with several women popping up, eager for their 15 minutes of fame, divulging details of their alleged sexual affairs with the legend.

“I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. ... Although I am a well-known person and have made my career as a professional athlete, I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means. For the last week my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives. ... Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions.”

Sure …..Woods couldn't be more right. He’s the greatest golfer of his generation because of his golfing talent and not because he's a paragon of personal virtue. But in today's wildly invasive media universe, being a champ isn't enough to protect your privacy. When a role model turns out to have feet of clay, we as fans feel a need to know every detail about his transgressions, no matter how little they have to do with the hero's public performance.

But the latest sex scandal makes people wonder — why do men cheat? And are the famous and powerful more prone to indiscretion, or are they just under the microscope more than the average Tom Dick and Harry?

Well, whatever it may be we all must pray that he should return to the golf course fueled by the same competitive fire that he has shown us over a decade.

Perhaps Rocky Balboa’s Coach Mickey was right,” women make a sportsman weak!”

Even the Great Tiger has been caught in his Woods swinging it the wrong way!

View from the TOP!

2009-12-07T22:07:00.000-08:00

Malcolm Speed must have watched TV on the 6^th December 2009.

His comments on India being the “biggest bully to ICC and non performers” must have been shoved under the carpet after we attained the coveted pole position in the test match rankings for the first time in the history of Indian cricket!

Till date India was the financial nerve center of world cricket, in fact, questions were often raised as to why the money power doesn't translate into becoming the world's number one team? The ghost has finally been buried. It has also established that while boasting of the money and the market that propels cricket forward, India also has the best Test team in the world.

Though India has been always looked upon as the next big thing, we have never made it big in the sporting arenas. Like most of the Olympic Games are dominated by USA and China, even smaller countries like Jamaica produce Usain Bolt and Ethiopia produces a series of marathon winners. We do send in our entries only hoping that someone does a Bindra or a Peas! 1 gold in 88 years of competing does make us a misfit in the schema of being the next superpower!

Soccer is even more far stretched….. We are perhaps one of the most soccer frenzy nations yet we struggle to clear the qualifying rounds. Countries like Ivory Coast, Costa Rica, Serbia, and Slovenia make the cut and we still stay glued on to our TV sets rooting for Argentina and Brazil.

In sharp contrast, when we turn our attention to cricket this despair ceases. Cricket remains the only realm where Indians can flex their muscles on the world stage. Two world Cups, number two in ODIs and now numero uno in test matches does make the situation a whole lot brighter!

In a nation where the cricket enthusiast oscillates between adulation and vandalism, playing cricket is no less difficult than governing the country. In fact, the Indian captain's job is as tough as the prime minister's. At a time when social strife is never far away, the camaraderie in the present team is striking. And it is for this reason alone that Mahendra Singh Dhoni needs to be applauded. We must not forget the role of Sourav Ganguly and Anil Kumble as well. This team deserves all the accolades because no cricket team in the world is forced to carry the burden of a billion, trying to prove to their countrymen that unity is still an achievable dream in Indian national life.

Amidst the Naxals, Mr. Liberhan, nuclear treaties….MS Dhoni and his team has given us a chance to rejoice…but still we will remember 6^th December for all the wrong reasons and Cricket will always be a strict NO NO in the headlines of our premiere broadcast channel!! J

“DE DAN A DAN”----test cricket!

2009-11-29T22:10:00.000-08:00

If Ahmadabad was the worst advertisement for test cricket…..enter Dunedin. It produced the best test cricketing action for the year till now! Five days of high voltage drama…..the contest between bat and ball…..Swing and seam and pace….Stirring batting. …Wickets falling in a heap and then the batsmen fighting back. It just had everything.

The first day ended with honors shared; New Zealand pulled away on the second; Pakistan combusted in the first half of the third, and then a debutant stood up and stroked his way to a hundred. On day four, a 17-year-old left-armer and one coming back in from the cold, blew the New Zealanders away and day five began with all results possible.

Day 5 saw a wobble at the top followed by a fight-back involving, inevitably, the debutant, left the last session poised evenly. The final breakthrough was provided by a bowler who had worked up steam all match without a wicket. He bowled into the wind and swung it New Zealand's way after taking a blow to the finger so severe the physio had to pull the digit back into shape. That merely made it more poignant.

If it failed to move you, cricket will be never be your game!!!!

Overall it was a great week for test cricket……be it the return of the maverick Sreesanth at Kanpur….or the rise of the blitzkrieg Barrath at the Gabba! Even Sehwag and Gambhir’s batting displays showed there’s more to batting than just slam bam hitting in the T-20 mould!

Abandoning test cricket will not only be stupid but suicidal. The roots of the game lie in test matches and without it the core values of the game would wither away!

Cricket is a game that is blessed with a buffet of three formats…there’s enough space for all three to co-exist and only if the administrators keep the wits about them all three formats will flourish with great élan!

Test cricket needs a retaliator. It needs men with vision. It needs ownership and drive.

C’mmon Lalit…….just do it!

All izzzz well!!!!

2009-11-26T23:08:00.000-08:00

White Balance thik nahi hai yaar…..oye focus hi galat hai….abe sale behen**** edit mein audio jump hai……transition laga yaar….slot nahi mila ya…

Whew….

This is what exactly I have been hearing throughout the last week.

What was I up to?????

Well, all of us were assigned to make short films of 6 to 10 minutes.

Initially, everyone was elated but as soon as one hit the floors what followed were confusion, fights, bitter rivalry and some serious hard work.

All this while I either wowed or bashed up films sitting in the cozy chairs of the glitzy multiplexes but trust me from now on I won't. When my group was assigned the film on the SONY PD 170, I had no idea how much effort will go in to make an 8 min 39 sec film.

To kick off the shoot we needed a script, and I had to make it. Scripting has always my nemesis whether be it C, C++ or VB on QTP! And I found out scripting a short film that to a technical one was no walk in the park. It took me two days and lots of GOOGLE-ing to finally land up with a seven page long script.

If scripting was a pain, shooting the film was an agony. Whatever I thought as a shot turned out to be shabby, shoddy and not upto the mark……then came in the famous lighting problems. We decided to shoot in a three point system and tried setting it up. We kept at it for more than an hour only to switch them off! At times I felt like banging my head against the wall. But I realized whenever someone has their back against the wall …..you just have to keep trying. We got our minds together and finally shot the film in a matter of 13 hours! Imagine thirteen hours of shooting for an 8 minuter…..imagine shooting a feature film….. Mid Longs, close ups, extreme close ups, over the shoulder….. You name it; we had it!

The footage was in……. and now came the toughest part……editing!

It’s more important to know what not to show rather than what to show!!!! So the real struggle began. Visual jumps, audio glitches, voice over laying…..arrrgggghhh!!! Sitting on the edit bay for hours with headphones on gave me bonging ears and dizzy eyesight! After three rough cuts we finally had a film ready to premier! It was hard work…..trust me guys me and my group worked our asses off. Night shifts….long hours…..no food….no change of underwares…..life literally seemed out of control….but then again we had fun and the 3 idiots of group 7 kept singing…..

“Bhaiya all izzzzzz well!!!!!”

“SACH…….Impossible is Nothing!”

2009-11-14T10:02:00.001-08:00

The grandma keeps counting her japmala, the nuns keep praying, the young guns run home from school, the phone keeps ringing, the cup of tea remains unattended……..

An early ADIDAS ad claimed that the world froze frame when Sachin Tendulkar took guard!

Well….nothing’s much has changed even after the batting Maestro completes 20 years in international cricket.

Who is Sachin Tendulkar?

Is he just a cricketer, a batting legend, a role model or God to a few of us?

To categorize the magnanimity of Sachin Tendulkar in words would be as stupid as bowling him half volleys on leg stump.

To me he is a metaphor that signifies the common man of India. He is truly Mr. India. He represents the middle class of India at the highest level and through his game he keeps on spreading the deep rooted values of us all Indians.

The legend of the man started at the greens of the Shivaji park of then Bombay (sorry, Raj, can’t help it!!!!), where the Dronacharya of Indian cricket found his Arjun! Both Shivaji Park and Shardashram Vidyamandir had made it into the Indian cricket folklore thanks to the towering achievements of this 5ft someone….

What makes this man a legend?

Lots have been spoken about his technique, shot making, array of strokes, and the weight of his bat….. But very sparingly people actually focus on his real might, his intent and his adaptability. His intent is evident when he says I care playing for India….and his adaptability is visible when he pulls out the uppercut from his repertoire at Johannesburg, against the likes of Allan Donald, not to play it again in the entire series!

As the evening shadows lengthen over his cricketing career, we still expect him to perform like God every time he walks into bat, which in way reveals the place he occupies in our hearts. Ironically, we still recognize the hold he has on our psyche, especially in the venom that we spit on him whenever he fails to deliver. Ironically, the more we curse him, the more we express our need for him!

Perhaps, its only apt that he wears the SAHARA logo on his chest because that’s exactly what he has been for the past 20 years where he has marched on braving the tennis elbow, the back aches, the pulled hamstrings, the painful little toe and of course the hopes of 1.2billion ….

“SACH…….Impossible is Nothing!”

“Antel” Inside!

2009-10-29T07:08:00.000-07:00

Who is an intellectual?

According to our Bible Wikipedia, An intellectual is a person who uses intelligence, i.e. thought and reason and analytical thinking, either in a professional or a personal capacity.

The word ‘Intellectual’ can denote 2 types of persons:

· A person involved in, and with, abstract, erudite ideas and theories.

A person of notable cultural and artistic expertise whose knowledge grants him or her intellectual authority in public discourse.

Uff… ki beginning mama!!!! Trust me guys, this is my first and last venture to write “intellectual” stuff. Being from the class of “Uncultivated”, I am a person who has a “low browed taste” in culture and art. So, I embark on this endeavor to find out why am I a non intellectual? (Main aisa kyun hoon???? pobblem ta asole ki?)

So this thesis of mine goes out to my philistine and uninitiated friends!

All of the above was Wikipedia stuff (what else can a non –intellectual, without a writing prowess, do?) so, let’s list it down…….

I love Govinda and David Dhawan….. (khali fajlami!!!!)

I don’t understand Franz Kafka!

I don’t understand the intricacies of Hussain’s evocative paintings!

I don’t find K.K. Menon more glamorous than Shah Rukh Khan.

I don’t understand the clichés used by great filmmakers (does anyone remember the cobwebs from Guide!!!!)

I don’t understand why Gabbar Singh killed an ant and didn’t ogle at Helen after “Mehebooba Mehebooba”!(does that conclude Gabbar was gay…..because he keeps mouthing ”Kitne aadmi the?”)

I prefer the 22 yards over “Do Bigha Zameen”! (Howwzatt!)

I indulge in “Inferior forms of arts!” like punning and mimicry! (dara ektu orna ta thik kore ni……Asha kori bhule jasni ke bolechilo!)

I prefer Nandan because of the wrong reasons. (Tikit hebby sosta kaka!)

“Totallyyy”prefer Bappi da over GnR and Metallica. (“Chirodinee….”…..uff total emotional…..getting goojbumps paagla!)

I am not a Bob Dylan fan.(I still pronounce Dylan and not “Dyeee”lan though)

I can’t ask questions “with insights” stretching up to 45 secs to a minute…..

I prefer six-packs over AF-PAK!

And the list continues…….now I know why I can’t be clubbed as an intellectual….

But I really want to be one because the great thing about being an intellectual is that if you bore people they still think it's their fault!!!! Even I want to get passes for the film festivals! So, here begins my pursuit to become one……

Ahhhh forget it! I would rather stick to my over the top self and keep tickling you guys with my non-intellectual gibberish!

Lekin Jaane se pehle……….ek non intellectual entity ke total non-antel dil se nikla hua chand alfaaz………

Bhabcho pore ki sob jata, likheche kisob shit…..

Thik dhorecho amar matha e ache total chhit!

Sukumar Roy Bhogoban r Gurudev amar Mir…

Punning jodi lage bhalo, kha paagla kheer!

Cricket amar passion kaka, kobita amar hobby….

Comment koro noyle sala EK CHOBOL E CHOBI!!!!!!

“Better fit than Sorry!”

2009-10-07T09:13:00.000-07:00

M.S. Dhoni’s words must have been ringing in the years of Younus Khan’s ears after the semis of the Champions trophy. Yet another, finger controversy engulfs cricket and this time it’s a broken one!

A broken finger not only ousted Pakistan from the tournament, it has already started pointing in the wrong direction as well.

“When I ran Gambhir out, people said what a patriot, now the same people will say I was up to something” …..Being as smart as usual, Younus Khan called it before hand. And as one has it now, the Chairman of the National Assembly standing committee on sports MNA Jamshed Dasti has been quoted that Pakistan tanked matches against Australia and New Zealand. Typical of Pakistan cricket…..

It definitely hurts and Younus Khan must have been more pained with the match fixing allegations rather than his broken finger. The pain was visible when he said he would not tolerate the slur of match-fixing and would resign from the captain's job if he felt so.

But a few questions will always tickle him;

Should he have been playing? Well….it was a brave call, but at times bravery could lead to misery.

And why did he try to catch the ball the Aussie way?

He should have remembered, Aussies and fingers always point to some new controversies!

2009-10-01T08:38:00.000-07:00

Oh! Captain…..My Captain!
“Rain rain go away, MS Dhoni wants to play”… it must have been the nursery rhyme that the Indian Cricket team skipper would have been chanting, sitting in the dressing room while watching the thunderstorm against the Aussies at the Centurion.
The Indian Team was already in a spot of bother after losing their opening game versus Pakistan but the thunderstorm against the Aussies definitely delivered the killer blow!
India’s hopes relied on the shoulders on their “best friend” Pakistan who, as usual, failed us! But why do we have to rely on someone else??
Of course we need to….because we had the “best bowling” line up possible!
Ishant Sharma refused to get back into his groove, R.P. Singh and Harbhajan Singh lost form leaving Dhoni “two to three bowlers short” and the less we talk about our fielding the better….. It definitely shows a drop in the testosterone levels!
This is the second ICC tournament this year that we have crashed out ….. In the Twenty20 World Cup it was attributed to the batsmen's failure to face short-pitched stuff and now, the bowlers need to put up their hands. But somewhere in these fiascos, Dhoni's modest captaincy has escaped the post mortem. MSD, under whom India is yet to lose a Test match, now seriously needs to re-evaluate his leadership skills. Is Dhoni's flair for captaincy is now becoming a victim of pragmatism? His cool dude image seemed to have frozen his imagination as a captain as well! His approach to batting is simply unacceptable. Instead of being the flamboyant hitter, he now builds his innings way too timidly. The result, India has lost its most fearsome bomber!
The India skipper let Pakistan off the hook by bringing in his part-time bowlers rather than go for all out attack when Pakistan were on the ropes .The result, Shoaib Malik and Mohammad Yousuf soon found their bearings and posted a mammoth stand to pile up the big score. Even against the Aussies the field settings and the bowling changes were way too timid!
Though we won against the Windies, let’s face it with just two good fielders in Raina and Kohli, two dependable batsmen in Tendulkar and Gambhir; just one medium pacer worth his salt Ashish Nehra, India couldn’t have gone the distance. We, unfortunately, did not play to our potential and hence….
But has “captain-cool” lost his Midas touch? Does his captaincy needs a makeover? Does he need to revamp his approach to batting?
I know he and his men in blue have done brilliantly well (six consecutive ODI series wins) throughout the last two years and we had a lot of injury woes but my captain….
It’s not about the defeats; its how one loses.

Vinod Dua Live!

2009-09-25T23:01:00.000-07:00

“Aap ke saamne ek chhata hua aiash baitha hai….” A thunder of applause followed as the words rolled out. Only Vinod Dua can pull off such a line with so much of élan!
I have been following Vinod Dua since childhood, thanks to my dad and his obsession with news, right from his Parakh days. After that he has gone on to do many more programs and I have kept following him.
Though I didn’t understand much of what he said, I was always attracted by his very lucid and fluid style of presentation. As I started growing up, I was captivated by his sense of satire and humor.
Sense of humor is a very misunderstood quality to possess….not many people can boast of possessing it. Moreover in our part of the world, a person who can see the funnier side of things is not taken very seriously by people who can look dead stern. (Personal experience, boss!)
So, I was very excited to learn that Vinod Dua will visit us at our Institute. It was a short and crisp visit of an hour but it has left quite an indelible effect on me. I could actually feel what sense of humor was and how this man used it. His quoting of Ghalib and his various anecdotes just brought together his spectrum of learning in front of us. He gave us great insights and we all understood because he delivered it wrapped with FUN! He answered all our questions and all of them had two elements in common, great insights and super fun!
His taking up a program like Zaika India Ka also shows that this man is serious about fun and that’s what he emphasized on, “Have fun in whatever you do…”
And his answer to my question…….
“You don’t need to put up a solemn face to appear serious; you can be serious with a smile on your face….”
I hope all my friends are listening!

Vint”AGE” Tendulkar!

2009-09-19T23:27:00.000-07:00

Wine is perhaps the best entity that describes Sachin Tendulkar’s craftsmanship, it just keeps getting better……
As he himself said after completing his 44th century "I am enjoying the game. My effort will be to try and keep playing the game and help win matches but the enjoyment factor is extremely important."
It certainly is. Every innings is crafted, every stroke an endeavor.....And the cynics can only make calamitous predictions about Tendulkar at their own peril.
But every time Tendulkar comes up with superlative performances, one is reminded of the infamous headline carried by a national newspaper in 2006.
"Endulkar?"
Since then, Tendulkar has gone on to conquer many more pinnacles of success.
It is true that age is one process no one can overcome. It is cruel. It spares none……. not even the most gifted of artists or the fittest of sportsmen.
It will get to HIM too but it’s obvious that he will go out on his own terms. That became evident from his hundred in the Compaq Cup tri series final against Sri Lanka. To come up with such an extended master class in extremely trying conditions battling Mendis, Malinga and cramps called for a superhuman effort.
What next?
The one thing that he has set is heart on….. A World Cup in the 50 over format.

So till then just sit back and sip on to the Vint”AGE” Tendulkar!!!!!

Fashion WEAK!

2009-09-19T22:58:00.000-07:00

Life mein bohut kuch 1st time hota hai re mamu……. MunnaBhai’s dialogues were buzzing in my ears as I walked past a few Delhi socialites!
Great cars, dangerous necklines, air smooching and a lot of 377 lovers……… this was my first expression of the first ever Men’s fashion week The Van Heusen Men’s Fashion Week!
Another S Size dream of mine came into reality as I walked into the Grand Hotel in Vasant Kunj, New Delhi.
“You guys from NDTV?” I was brought back to the present by one of the volunteers out there.
Frankly speaking, this NDTV ID card of mine has already started talking me to places where my IT card would never have imagined taking to (unless I became Nandan Nilekani part –II)! The volunteers took us to our designated seats where we were welcomed by Mr. Sunil Sethy (President FDCI).
Then the show began; skinny girls and the muscular men walked down the ramp with designer glasses and funny clothing (they literally were!).There were well known models like Jesse Randhawa, Tapur Chatterjee and Ankur Bedi (I came to know all these names on that day itself, thanks to all my lady colleagues!). The showstopper was the famous model turn actor Muzzamil Ebrahim (has acted in some movie named Dhoka!)
The show was ok…..though everyone else just loved it……. I got bored after 15 minutes. Overall a great experience…..but one thing I noticed. I was perhaps the only person not decked up for the occasion…..a jeans and a shirt. Among the gelled hairs and summer jackets and checkered trousers, my sense of fashion was definitely WEAK!

Demo”CRAZY”…….

2009-08-10T09:27:00.000-07:00

Dreams can be of many sizes S, M, L, XL, XXL……go ahead guys take your pick.
One such M dream of mine came true on the 6th of August 2009 when I stepped into the Parliament House of India…….. The Lok Sabha.
As our car drove past Rajpath and the Rastrapathi Bhavan, my heart skipped a beat…….
“So this is it….it’s real…”
My mouth went a little dry and palms sweaty as we were given the instructions of how to behave inside the Altar of Democracy in India.
As we went through the first round of security check, I looked up at the huge circular structure that decides what’s good (!) for the whole country.
Up till this point it was all awe and mystery……then the revelations started.
We had to go through a series of security checks, where the guards ran their hands all over our personal ASSets (why doesn’t the government leave the security dept. to Kingfisher!)
Varun Gandhi walked passed in his immaculate tailored kurta paijama (thank god they weren’t doctored as his tapes!).
As we slowly entered the upper galleries of the Lower House, my eyes immediately caught Sri Lalu Prasad Yadav.”Look dude, Pranab Mukherjee….” My friend elbowed me. What followed was absolute mayhem….BJP and Congress MPs slamming each other at every possible opportunity with the diminishing Left not to be left out.
“This is how the country is run?” I watched with wide eyes.
At the end of our stint, we got hold of Mr. Shatrughan Sinha…..who came up with his customary “Khamosh…” on public demand.
Was I disappointed or elated? Well both….. My elation was due to the fact the one M size dream of mine came true….and disappointment…..well my imagination and reality didn’t quite match (a side effect of not watching Lok Sabha TV)!
But again we are the largest DemoCraZy in the world! 

Yeh Dilli Hai Mere Yaar!

2009-08-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

As the train tore through the northern part of Bihar and UP, a revelation that got to me was that never ever travel in a sleeper class! A normal reserved three seater berth became quite a five seater and even at times a sixth one said “Zara adjust kijiye….”
Most of the morning I was sitting as straight as Gautama Buddha under the Mahabodhi tree seeking for enlightment (in this case it was the feet of the people seating on the top berth with aromatic footwear……).
After much struggle I managed to reach New Delhi……the capital.
Why am I at Delhi???
This is my fifth visit to New Delhi and this one is going to be long……really long.
This time it is not about the Red Fort, Jantar Mantar, Qutub Minar…….it’s about life, a decision and definitely a challenge.
The very first day in my new class was quite an eye opener….. People from different works of life, different backgrounds and cultures are here…… and are here to only win…..
The prize …….
A job as a NDTV broadcaster!!!!
The second day exposed a part of the city that I never expected…..Rain.
It rained like dinosaurs and Godzillas for the whole day resulting in water logging and widespread jams throughout the city. I was stuck in that for two and a half hours.
I got down from the auto and started walking…….. Completely drenched in the torrential shower, I took refuge in a shop.
“New in Delhi?” asked a young guy standing beside me.
“Ya”….. I said,” does it rain often like this?”
“No…..” the guy smiled,” but when it does it’s quite an event……!”
Flyovers, auto fares, fruit juices, kebabs and Punjabi kudis make up the capital city of India. Here one moment you may get disgusted, the other surprised…… but at the end you have to shake your head and say………
“Yeh Dilli Hai Mere Yaar!”

FED Ex makes ROD "eek" !!!!

2009-07-06T12:48:00.000-07:00

"Sorry Pete, I tried to hold him off.".....
Seldom had a beaten player had less to apologize for than Andy Roddick.
Slumped in his chair after the match, the crowd chanted "Roddick, Roddick, Roddick" until he rose to acknowledge them. While most of the words after Sunday’s epic final at Wimbledon rushed to praise Roger Federer after his history-making victory, the image that took hold came from the other side: the pain etched face of Andy Roddick.
Without the American the grand finale wouldn’t have been possible. With Rafael Nadal pulling out due to injury the record Slam was almost into Fed’s kitty but Roddick had other ideas. He knew what he was up against….He knew everyone had come to watch Federer make history, but he stuck at it until the greatness of the FedEx and a hip flexor injury broke him down.
As much as we love to revel with the victor, none of us knows what it’s like to win 15 Grand Slams but all of us do know what it’s like to have a dream crushed. So the celebration is nice…..but the pain, which even Roddick could not hide with his wisecrack humor, did hit home.
Well done Andy!!!

It's time to be DILLOGICAL!

2009-07-04T12:10:00.000-07:00

So, finally am here! Enough of defect logging, now it’s time for some blogging!!!
Who am I??? A big question..... Well let me try an answer it.

I am an "ardinary" guy with a few "extra ardinary" actions, like leaving a settled IT job for some crazy media stuff in this recessive market.
My life's has been an adventure.... and a new one beckons me!!!!!

How???? Here it goes...

A wannabe cricketer lands up doing science, sat for JEE, garnered a rank as big as a mobile number, somehow scraped through to chemical engineering.....worked his way to an IT job and now is up for a stint in television!

Bizarre...........isn't it?

I often wondered the number of times my life’s changed its course that it can well match up to Hwang Ho!

But hey guys it has been fun..... And I hope it continues to be!!!!!
According to Chatterjee Kaku "chele ta puro pagol...totaaal fooolish r eelogical hoye geche!"

But I say “Na Kaka, pagol noi........It's time to be DILLOGICAL!"